Today we look at some tracks that have been released over the years that are purely about what all of us pray for on February 14th. These tracks are so blatant that you HAVE to be wearing headphones just to listen to them. DISCLAIMER: don’t play these tracks for your significant other if you plan on getting it in!
#1: She Said OK – Big Boi Ft. Theophilus London and Tre Luce
Props to Sway for tossing this on when Charlotte McKinney was in the studio (you know, the girl from the Carl’s Jr. Superbowl commercial). The song starts off pretty straightforward…I mean who wants to waste time, am I right? It has a super funky groove that’s often associated with love making music. The song is actually nice, dropping great innuendo throughout. My favourite line from the track: “Boy that’s cold….er, than Shaquille O’Neal, from the free throw line”. Everyone loves a good Shaq chirp. The video also isn’t too hard on the eyes.
#2: Ain’t No Fun – Snoop Dogg Ft. Nate Dogg, Warren G, Kurupt
This song is pretty degrading, but is also equally hilarious. Classic West Coast sound meets every Saturday night. Love the line where he refers to the female reproductive system as “your gap”. Despite the joking nature, the beat goes hard. Take notes from Nate Dogg on this one; if you ever get yourself in the dogghouse just drop the “L” word or just tell her “just lay back and don’t run your mouth” (your call).
#3: You Can Do It – Ice Cube
Ohhhhh the memories. This song brings me back to grade 7 when I just figured out what grinding was. This was one of the ultimate club bangers back in the day. Basically a track that describes the roughest intercourse known to mankind. Beat still goes hard. Who knows what would happen if this came on at a party these days! If you ever manage to close a girl by telling her “you’ve got dick for days” I’ll buy you a copy of Ride Along.
#4: What’s Your Fantasy – Ludacris
This track is in the same category as the last one. It has a couple memorable lines that I still use today (yeah right)! Kind of reminds me of hotel room sex, you know, the kind where you disrespect each other as well as the bedroom.
#5: I’m Not a Player – Big Pun
“I’m not a player, I just f*ck a lot”. Welp, not sure that line would get me out of the doghouse. One of my fave Big Pun tracks though. Amazing beat, even greater lyricism.
Bonus Track: Marry the Pu**y – R.Kelly
Alright, now I know this isn’t rap or trap, but this song needs to be on this list. It’s probably the best stuff R. Kelly has released aside from “Trapped in the Closet” (that was a joke). This song is essentially about a girl who he refers to in the third person as “The Pu**y”. Nice job Kells, I can’t imagine her saying no!
Track that will get you laid: Isley Brothers – Between the Sheets
I had to put one song on here that would deem useful on Valentines Day. This was the original track that Notorious B.I.G. used as a backdrop for his “Big Poppa” track. Call it the original love making song.
Cheers to the FUXWITHIT for allowing me to write another guest article, and a big congrats to them on their 1-year anniversary! Here’s to many more, fellas!
Guest Writer – Iain Anderson
