In late 2017 my SoundCloud digging unearthed a rare gem in zotti’s ‘crystal.’ The impeccable work left me mesmerized and delving through his back catalog to enjoy his equally impressive previous work. I was so blown away that I concluded my post stating, “zotti is the future.” Oddly enough since that date he’s only released one song, a remix of Bonzai’s ‘Cruel’. With over a year since his last release, we never gave up hope and today we are proud to present a new Guest Mix from zotti as well as an in-depth interview. He speaks at length about his break from releasing music, overcoming self-doubt and writers block, talks about upcoming plans for new music and much more. If you’ve missed zotti as much as we have, this mix and interview is everything you need.
It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from you. What have you been up to?
Yikes, it has been a very long time. Since I’m getting really close to graduating college, this past year has been very busy for me. I’m still making beats everyday though and playing shows here and there. Having fun and living life man, that kind of stuff.
You can try to look for inspiration in nature, books, or drugs, but those won’t help you solve the fundamental problem. Forcing myself to write music has made me realize that making something that sounds god awful won’t kill me.
Can you speak to the gap in releases? What caused this?
This is going to be a lengthy and somewhat off-tangent answer because I have a lot to say about this. Aside from the fact that my music takes very long to make, I would have to say the biggest reason for the gap in between my releases is because of writer’s block.
Dude, writers block SUCKS. ASS.
Some people don’t believe writers block is real, fair enough. But if you ask any artist that genuinely cares about their work if they experience self-doubt, 95% of the time they’ll answer yes. Blocks and self doubt go hand in hand. Both have hit so hard for me over these last few years. I think the reasoning for this is because at some point I became way too self conscious and overly-analytical of my stuff. I stopped creating music for myself and spent my energy worrying what others would think. So yeah, making music stopped being fun for a while because of that.
After my last release (around sometime in May 2018), I told myself I wasn’t going to get on social media, check SoundCloud stats or release music until I figured out how to get over my block and enjoy making music again. I think a lot of that shit clogs up my creativity so I cut it out of my life a while ago.
I eventually found a solid method for overcoming mental blocks, at least for the time being. Over winter break last year, me and a good friend of mine decided to FaceTime everyday and do a beat challenge. We would establish a rule (i.e. – must flip a certain sample or play in a certain key) then set a timer for an hour and write. Once time was up, we would play it for each other no matter how terrible it sounded. Beat challenges force you into this state of flow where you’re almost unconscious of what you’re doing. The time crunch makes it impossible for you to doubt yourself or re-write stuff. It’s awesome. So much fun to do too. It’s been 7 months and me and my friend still do beat challenges a couple times a week. I feel like I’m a prolific writer again because of it. If anybody experiences really bad writers block, do beat challenges with your friends. You can try to look for inspiration in nature, books, or drugs, but those won’t help you solve the fundamental problem. Forcing myself to write music has made me realize that making something that sounds god awful won’t kill me. It’s just a part of the creation process. So for the past year or so I’ve really just been recovering my passion for writing. I love to put out music, but it hasn’t been my main priority for a minute. The notion that I had to put out music is what contributed to my writers block in the first place.
Anyways that’s where my heads been at for the past few years. I was going to share this stuff online eventually for anyone that cares to know why I release so sporadically so I figure I might as well lay it all out here since the question popped up. Plus, if it helps anyone else that’s dealing with creative self-doubt, that’s cool too.
No matter how long it takes, I would rather create a personal product that I absolutely love than to sacrifice all of that for the sake of being relevant
Should we expect more music from you in the near future? What are your release plans looking like for the remainder of the year?
Yes! The timing of this interview is actually pretty serendipitous because I’m putting out a song really soon, so this makes for a nice plug. I’m hyped to share it! To be honest, I’m not sure exactly sure what my plans are. I’ve got a ton of half-completed songs locked away that need to be finished so I’m gonna try to crank those out so I can release more. I don’t make music for a living though, nor don’t plan on it, so I‘m not too regimented with that kind of stuff.
You mentioned you don’t have any plans to make music a career. Given your talent it comes as a bit of a surprise. Can you elaborate on this?
Yeah, this is going to be another lengthy response lol. I should clarify that when I said that, I meant that I have no intention of making a career as a solo electronic artist. I see the zotti project as a stepping stone of sorts. It’s a portfolio that allows me to showcase my talent and build a network. I am definitely going to pursue music in some way shape or form as a career though.
As for the whole solo-artist thing though, this has been something that I’ve tossed and turned a lot over the past few years. After much deliberation, I’m fairly certain that being a solo artist is not my path because I don’t believe I have the mental stamina to commodify my art in the music business. Call it whatever you want, but I mean shit, I’ll sometimes spend nearly 3 months working on a single song. Most artists can make an EP in that time. I think the reason I spend so long on my work is because I want it to be the truest, most hard-working reflection of who I am. What you hear in my music is very rarely “first-try”. I’ll write and scrap 25 different ideas on 8 bars of a song before I find one that finally clicks. This would be all well and fine if I could work on multiple songs simultaneously, but for whatever reason I can’t. It really bugs me if a song that I love goes unfinished or gets put to the side. It would bug me even more if I put out a song that I know didn’t get a chance to reach its fullest potential. If I were to be a full-time solo musician who wouldn’t be able to approach song-writing in this way, it would break me. Not to mention it’s not sustainable in the slightest. No matter how long it takes, I would rather create a personal product that I absolutely love than to sacrifice all of that for the sake of being relevant.
However, whenever I produce instrumentals for other artists, whether big and small, I’ve found I can easily detach all of those aspects from my music making process and have fun with it at the same time. Maybe it’s because it’s not such an intensely personal experience or that I’m not having to make the music speak entirely for itself. I’m much more prolific in this style of production so I feel it would provide a more sustainable income. I believe I wouldn’t be compromising my creativity in this area of production work either. Whether it be subconsciously or out of habit, I always find a way to add my flair and style to a song I’m working on.
I’m very indecisive about certain things. Like a lot of people with anxiety, I tend to consider every possibility, good or bad, that can arise from any given situation. I don’t know man, maybe one day I’ll be able to be more fruitful with my personal music, but for the time being, I’m more than happy to take my time with it without the pressure of business getting in the way.
Do you have something else you’re more passionate about?
Honestly, not really. When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was create art. Whether it was film making, drawing, writing or playing music, I could never get enough of it. During those formative years I would engage in other less-artistic hobbies, but my interests in those were fleeting. I always had a gut feeling that creating was my calling, but up until 5 years ago I never found the specific art form I was most drawn to. Ever since I discovered my passion for music production, I’ve never been more sure that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.
However, I’m really passionate about people. I love to meet new people. As weird as it sounds, I love talking to people about their problems if they ever choose to open up to me. Not to berate them with advice necessarily, but just to be there for them and help them out. Maybe in a parallel universe where I’m not so drawn to the arts, I’m a marriage counselor? Lmao.
I’m very invested into every song I make. I never put out a song I don’t absolutely love.
Your work is incredibly moving, taking listeners on a true auditory journey. How do you go about creating these stunning adventures through sound?
Thank you :’) I’m very invested into every song I make. I never put out a song I don’t absolutely love. Whether it’s because of sheer luck or trial and error, I always write the first portion of all my songs I end up releasing very quickly. After that, I study what I wrote and ask myself what kind of theme I’m wanting to go for. I try to make all of the sounds in my songs convey some kind of place or setting. On my song ‘Crystal,’ I had a lot of desert and sahara imagery in mind when I was making it. It can take a really long time for me to fully understand how to execute the concept I’m going for though, so a lot of it just comes down to being persistent, willing to try out new things and scrapping them if they don’t work.
I saw you went skydiving last year. How would you describe the experience? What was going through your mind the moment before you jumped?
Dude it was frickin s i c k. I remember rolling out the plane attached to my instructor feeling like my stomach had detached from the rest of my body. I don’t know how to describe it to anyone who hasn’t been skydiving, but floating in mid air is so strange. Super fun though! 10/10 would freefall from 10,000 feet again.
10/10 would freefall from 10,000 feet again.
What do enjoy most outside of music?
Lots of stuff. I’m really big into rollerblading. Not like the kind of rollerblades you’d find at the roller rink everyone’s mom would drop them off at when they were younger though. Look up “Ground Control – Brian Aragon” on YouTube to see what I mean. That dude is a beast. Besides that, I love hanging with friends, traveling, writing, drawing, and skiing.
Oh and sensory deprivation tanks. Those things are crazy cool.
Tell us about the mix? Where are you taking listeners with this one?
I’ve been working on improving my sets a lot over this past year and I think this mix showcases that. The songs in this mix are some of my all time favorites. They really changed the way I thought about music in some way shape or form. I’m not playing a lot of my original stuff in this mix, but I made sure to throw in a few songs of mine, as well a song I made from one of those beat challenges I was referring to earlier. Hope y’all enjoy it!
Tracklist
zotti – dyslxesia
Mr. Carmack – Womp
Copycatt – Reckless
sumthin sumthin – Confused (feat. JAWNZA)
Pigeon Hole – Symbols
Tails & Iverness – Skeleton Ft. Nevve (Mishap Remix)
Copycatt – Suave
inimicvs – u rite w/ L*o*J
SLUMBERJACK & Troyboi – Solid
Oski – Super Hot
Mo Vibez & L*o*J – Juggernaut
Dabow & Thook – Cliff Jump
inimicvs, Mo Vibez, WNTR, Three Dog & Creepa – YAA (Busta Rhymes – Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check Mashup)
Konane – The Way I See Ya
VALENTINE & 4AM – Us (feat. Naji) [Rohaan & Laxcity Remix]
Oh Gosh Leotus – GOSHFORMER
Jon Casey – Dimes
Ekali & Zhu – Blame
tinyghost – Jupiter
zotti – yucky
tinyghost – Dou (Missy Elliott – Get Ur Freak On Mashup)
TroyBoi – Afterhours ft. Diplo & Nina Sky (QUIX Remix)
zotti – beat challenge day 16 (Mr. Carmack – Hectic 3 remix)
EPROM – PINEAPPLE (G JONES REMIX)
montell2099 – SUSU (SNAK PAK REMIX) (Medasin & X&G – The Zoo feat. josh pan Mashup, Inspired by Holly)
PEEKABOO – REVENGE
tapecut – give it to me
